The Nanny Generation

In today’s pagan world, Biblical roles and standards are an offense. There is a mounting antagonism and resistance to the Biblical model for men and women.

Christianity has a dominant patriarchal system, yet esteems women more highly than any other system. Spiritually there is neither male nor female; for we are all one in Christ. Gal. 3:28 Yet, God has placed everything in its proper order. Man is the head of woman. Men and women are not equal. We are equal in position before God but not in roles and authority. Even nature proves that men and women are built different. Science has discovered that the brain structure of men and women is not the same.
Husbands and wives are joint-heirs with Christ having different functions. When men and women are functioning in their God-given roles then are they released to flow in their anointing. When a man is dominated by a woman he will not walk in his full function and flow in his anointing. The same happens when a woman is dominated by a man. When the man and woman are out of order, the home in turn is out of order. When the home is out of order, the church is also. I Tim. 3:4-5
Recently a precious couple came to me for counseling. They were staff members of their home church where the wife was the church secretary. They were troubled about some serious ‘goings-on’ at the church. I asked the dear sister, since she worked behind the scenes, who had the last say in church matters. She answered, “the Pastor’s wife”. My reply was that it’s a ‘woman run’ church and it’s out of order. This does not surprise me when much of the American church has been feminized. With the feminization of America’s institutions, the church has also felt the pressure to comply.
My wife Tammie is a mighty woman of God. One of my greatest desires is to see her dreams come true. I love to see her flow in her anointing. She has been used powerfully on the streets as well as in the church. Yet, her first ministry priority is her husband and family. When we pioneered “The Shepherd’s Door” she was content in her calling beside her husband. She didn’t strive for position because she knew her place. In leadership there can be no position of authority without a posture of submission. Today, in some circles, many women professing godliness are made to feel second class if they don’t have a ‘ministry.’ Unfortunately, by today’s standards being a housewife has been de-classified as second rate. A missionary friend of ours was asked by another woman, “So, what’s your ministry?” Her reply was, “My husband!”
I highly value my wife’s wisdom and input. I pay attention when she speaks into my life. Yet, though we partner together, the buck stops with me. It is my responsibility to ‘man the helm’ of our marriage, family and home. Like the church, marriage is not a double-headed institution…only one can lead. Eph. 5:23-24 When I make decisions, I think “we” not “me.” The woman is the weaker vessel and therefore cannot function in a man’s role. Contrary to feminist world-views, a woman simply cannot carry the load of a man…she was not created to. I Pet. 3:7
It is the father’s job to take the initiative and lead the way for his family. The wife simply follows the pattern set by her husband. In Tammie’s own words, she states: “It is the job of the father to set the ground work of discipline for the children. And, that it is the job of the mother to simply reinforce the father’s ground rules.”
“The father shall make known your truth to the children.” Is. 38:19 NKJV Children need a father’s instruction so they will grow up on a firm foundation. Recently, I had planned a time to teach our two-year-old son Luke to swim. The first step was to introduce him to the water while holding him in my arms. Day’s prior, I had discussed with Tammie my tactic for his gradual learning process. I even primed her to expect him to cry. When the day came, he did just that. He began to cry as we stepped out into deeper water. All was fine until Momma saw her son crying. She balked! If her reaction would have been allowed to go unchecked it would have caused Luke more harm in the long run. The principle is: cry now, smile later!
Luke was not introduced to his new experience with ‘floaties’ but in his father’s arms. “There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place.” Deu. 1:31 NIV A father must carry his children from the onset all the way to get them where they are going. Am I against floaties? Not at all, but everything has its proper time and order. Artificial support can never compensate for proper training and instruction. When the child has grown up and ventured out into the waters of life, he will have learned to tread upon a firm foundation.

The key to the buoyancy of the child is the balance between father and mother.

“My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.” Pr. 1:8 Any male can sire a child; it takes a man to be a father. Love and discipline mature a child. Eph. 6:4 Immaturity stems from a lack of a fathers proper instruction and discipline. When a parent overcompensates or tolerates a child’s disobedience, he grows up never accepting responsibility for his actions. Love without discipline breeds a ‘deficient’ child. Discipline without love breeds a ‘defiant’ child. “But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children…just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children.” I Thes. 2:7,11 NAS Domineering mothers produce ‘fragile’ children. Domineering fathers produce ‘fragmented’ children.
Today is the day of independent women and men failing to take godly leadership and responsibility. Many couples have become spiritual ‘cross dressers.’ The woman puts on a suit, goes to work while dad stays home. This has become popularized in movies such as “Mr. Mom.” This message is not to condemn single parent dads and moms who are struggling to raise their children. Nor of those who are victims of abuse, abandonment or no-fault divorce. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ is sufficient in these circumstances.
I am speaking of a ‘Nanny Generation’ of men who have neglected their responsibility as leaders. In a movement for men to step up to the plate of responsibility, Promise Keepers was borne. I am not in the habit of endorsing movements. But, in the light of this message one can see the bigger picture of what God is doing in the hearts of men. When men neglect their God-given roles, it forces women to take the spiritual role of leadership. Ed Cole says that when a man acts like a child it forces his wife to act like his mother! God is trying to get the attention of men, desiring them to take responsibility and keep their commitments. “The National Organization for Women” (N.O.W.) said that Promise Keepers was the greatest danger to women’s rights. Athaliah thought she had a ‘right’…a right to the throne. She even massacred her own grandchildren for her woman’s rights. And, when godly men stood up to challenge her rights, she cried, “Treason, Treason.” II Chron. 23:1-15
In all my years in ministry, it still amazes me when Christian men respond like babies…Pastors and laymen alike! “Brethren, be not children in understanding; howbeit in malice be ye children, but in understanding be men.” I Cor. 14:20 It is a sure sign of The Nanny Generation when a man handles confrontation and conflict like a baby. Pouting and puttering when he should be sober and self-controlled. It is no wonder we have opened the door to a feminist, mother spirit when men act like children still on milk. I King 21:1-7
Since we live in a ‘feel good’ society, we avoid any correction. Correction does not ‘feel good.’ We want counsel instead of correction. Instead of men taking their medicine full strength, they want it flavored with “therapy.” The Nanny Generation cannot righteously respond to correction – they bow up like adolescents. They have never matured to manhood…they want to be coddled rather than be corrected. Heb. 12:5-11
In the secular world, childish men are made to look cute. However, in the kingdom it looks sad. “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” I Cor. 13:11 A popular saying today goes, “The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys.” A utility truck TV commercial shows a little boy pedaling his toy car. Instantly, the next scene shows the boy grown up playing in his big, expensive 4×4. The message is clear: the boy never grows up and matures, he just changes the size of his toys! In the world it may sell over commodities but in the church it’s selling men out.

The Nanny Generation is a weak generation of men who have succumbed to a queen-mother spirit.

“Then all the men which knew that their wives had burned incense unto other gods, and all the women that stood by…answered Jeremiah, saying… ‘And when we burned incense to the queen of heaven…did we make her cakes to worship her…without our men?'” Jer. 44:15,19 Jeremiah dealt with mother-goddess worship among God’s people in his day. The queen of heaven was a principal female Canaanite deity – a fertility goddess.
Mother worship was well on its way before the Roman Catholic church ‘baptized’ it into Christianity. Referring to Mary, the mother of Jesus, Catholics sing, “Hail, Holy Queen Enthroned Above.” She is also called ‘Heavenly Mother’ – the divine motherhood! Mother worship came in a family package…it was a family affair! “The children gather wood, and the fathers kindle the fire, and the women knead their dough, to make cakes to the queen of heaven…that they may provoke me to anger.” Jer. 7:18 This was paganism in its religious form.
Today in America we’re seeing a resurgence of its pagan form in mother-earth worship. The ecology and environmental movement worship “Gaea” the earth goddess – the divine Mother of all life – the spirit force that inhabits planet earth. It is interesting that in Greek mythology out of Chaos came Gaea – earth – the warm, fertile Mother of creation!
There is no book of Queens in the Bible. For the last few decades the church in America has parlayed with this vile spirit. It has bucked for the pulpit and in many churches it is the main influence behind it. “And unto the angel of the church in Thyatira…I know thy works, and charity, and service…and the last to be more than the first…not withstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which callest herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants…” Rev. 2:18, 19, 20 Historically, the church in Thyatira abounded in works of charity and service but at the same time tolerating a Jezebel spirit. A Thyatiran coin shows a female deity wearing a battlemented crown. It was also the era of papal apostasy!
Today this mirrors the condition of contemporary America. Feminists are lobbying to the tune of, “We Demand Our Rights.” Weird new cults are rising like the ‘Heaven Gate.’ Homosexuals are out of control demanding their place. Our military has been feminized! Church activity is abounding while many are catering to a feminist doctrine, giving equal treatment.

Tolerance, the new American buzzword, is evidence that a feminist, Jezebel spirit is gaining preeminence.

Dear Saint, I know this message is convicting. My desire is to release this prophetic utterance not to condemn but to liberate. You see, “I” am a product of The Nanny Generation. I was fatherless, in a sense, by default – by an absentee, overworking dad. I in turn passed that fatherless curse down to my first-born daughter and son. Then I got saved, restored and redeemed by the blood of the Lamb. Jesus set me free by His marvelous light. He set me on course to be a real man.
Today, I see my parents through the eyes of Christ. They were the children of Italian immigrants. They did the best they knew how to raise their four children. They also came from the generation where the men barked out commands and the women had little, if anything, to say. There was little communication with the children and the men kept their feelings to themselves. They figured if they worked hard to provide for their family, they were doing well. They left rearing the children to the women. My mother and grandmother were the primary caretakers and disciplinarians. After my conversion to Christ, I was determined to become a godly man especially after all the destruction I caused. My foolishness and childishness made for a great entertainer but a lousy husband and father! I had a lot to work through but I purposed to stop perpetuating the generational curse and defeating behavioral patterns. I had to grow up! I still have a long way to go but I’m on the right road. Glory!
How many men have ‘lorded’ it over their wives rendering them useless and stifling their womanhood. Men acting like cavemen ruling in fear with a club instead of in love with Christ’s mantle! And, how many husbands have been neutered of their manhood by a controlling wife? Or, couples whose marriages have been suppressed and domineered by a controlling mother?
Dear reader, the Holy Ghost is not out to ‘get’ you but to love you – to love you with truth. The Spirit of the Lord is moving through the land to bring liberty to the captives. Do you have a controlling spirit? Surrender to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and get released to be truly in control. Are you a man or woman who needs to take responsibility and grow up? Are you a parent who is controlling the lives of your children who are grown and married? Humble yourself at the foot of the cross and repent. If you suffer in any of these areas ask Jesus for a holy release and then release those who have sinned against you – whether husband, wife, parent, son, or daughter. Ask and give forgiveness and be set free by the blood of the Lamb. The Lord is out to put His church in order before His second coming. Be assured that His anger will be toward those who refuse to repent. His mercy is toward those who heed. He is coming for a holy bride, mature without spot or wrinkle. Respond to His love now. “Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ: That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine…But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ.” Eph. 13,14, 15

Re-edition, original word 1997